Behind The Scenes - Vlogging through it

During the summer of last year. I started playing around with the idea of relaunching my Patreon. I was a little bit stuck as to what to put on there. A friend suggested I started recording video for my podcasts so in the fall I started navigating what that would look like for me. I’m still getting the hang of it but I think I’m starting to find a groove.

Also, I was still trying to move forward the best way I could with my short film. In my post from back then you can see a video of my failed armature wire attempt.

After I made that video and it didn’t come out the way I wanted it to, I felt a bit defeated. OK, I felt more than defeated. I started to think that maybe I should find a different approach for this project. I sat with this feeling and even began pivoting. Watching videos and buying different materials. I didn’t get it right and I couldn’t bring myself to try and possibly fail again.

As much as you may see me do and “accomplish” things, I’m actually a HUGE procrastinator. I’m sure it stems from being a perfectionist coupled with imposter syndrome. I just couldn’t shake the fear of getting it wrong. I kept putting off a second attempt until I sat down with myself and realized that 6 or 7 months have passed and I haven’t made any progress on this project. Nothing substantial enough for me.

So I got a journal and a spreadsheet and start planning out what a year of (pre)production would look like. I then broke everything down to the point where I had monthly goals with some (bi)weekly goals. Trying to make things attainable and not too intimidating.

With this, I decided maybe I should vlog this experience. I reached out to my friend Jen who vlogged her journey making her thesis film not too long ago for advice (and some reassurance).

It is my goal to get back to blogging here a bit more. Obviously, it was a bit hard to do so last year since a lot of my blogs were based upon screenings and events I’d attend. For now, I will make companion posts to my vlogs as I see fit.

Below you can watch previews of my first to vlog. If you’d like to watch the whole thing, you can do so over on my Patreon.