I Tried To Animate... Again
I knew for weeks that I was going to try this animating thing again.Back in August I made a post about how I was “Animating Again”. I just realized as I am writing this that I never finished that tutorial. I also didn’t finish this one.
I remember being a preteen and wanting to be an animator. I remember enjoying my 3D animation classes in college and wanting to get better. Even after graduating college, knowing I wasn’t a strong animator I still wanted to try and get better. How after all of these years has it become something I “can’t” do?
I mean, it took me almost 12 hours to animate this character jumping. I went to bed at 6 am because I told myself I would not go to sleep until I finished it. I procrastinate, I avoid, I walk away from the computer, I delete pictures in my phone, emails in my inbox, I stretch. You name it and I’ll probably do it before I sit down to prove to myself that I can not animate well.
I allow these thoughts to convince me that I’m not good at this and should not bother EVEN THOUGH I have tutorials to work from, guiding me every step of the way. The voice telling me I can’t is so much louder than the one saying “ do it anyway”.
I get it done. It isn’t bad. The world hasn’t ended.
I decided to start this up again because it really bothers me that I haven’t completed this tutorial. I can accept some times you have to let things be and remain as it was but not this one. I’m not sure just yet as to how I will hold myself accountable, I just know that I have to prove to myself that I can do this. The only way I can see that happening is by having the final product in front of me.
I hope that by tackling these tutorials I am able to learn new ways to deal with the self defeating thoughts and that I learn a bit more about myself and my commitment to a mental and maybe emotional challenge like this.
Below is the final result. I’ll be posting some video clips on my Instagram and Facebook page. I’m accepting kind words, uplifting words, words of encouragement and more!
-Monique
